Looking for An Original Monologue for That Next Audition?

McSweeney's has a fairly brilliant collection of "Short Imagined Monlogues." There is "Stevie Nicks Applies for Work at an Ice Rink", and "Subway Sandwich Artist's Statement" , and "A Pep Talk for the New Pair of Shorts I Will Wear Every Day This Summer". Their newest, "I'm Comic Sans, Asshole" is a favorite.

"Listen up. I know the shit you've been saying behind my back. You think I'm stupid. You think I'm immature. You think I'm a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I'm Comic Sans, and I'm the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg."